real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
