I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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