I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
