Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
