Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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