I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
ok first of all what the fuck
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
