Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
