im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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