She went from zero to smokin in five shots
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
