Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize