elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
