Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
