when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
