We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
