bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
