What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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