she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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