You can't special order awesome
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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