Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
