Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
50% drunk capacity currently
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
