youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
