I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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