Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
