Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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