Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
