Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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