Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
