it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
