R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
