i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
