I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
