I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
