You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
