I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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