How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
