Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
