Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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