please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
