he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
