Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
