I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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