Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
