Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
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