YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
