Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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