and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
