just tell him i said nine months
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
