You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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