He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
a search helicopter?!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
