one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
